The Deaf Edge

Normally I wouldn’t blog something like this, but I feel compelled to do so, after a dispute between Barry Sewell and I arose on DVTV, centering on IamMine’s vlog, which now has been taken down because she could not respond to all of the commenters demanding further clarification until Thanksgiving.

IamMine’s vlog was prompted by Shawn’s meltdown after drmzz had told her that Karen and others on Candy’s blog were supposedly making fun of Shawn for her comments on MishkaZena’s blog here. Not very many of us agreed with drmzz regarding that, and IamMine was outraged about the incident to the point where she vlogged about it.  In her vlog, she also named Barry, because Shawn and Barry had a confrontation where both IamMine and I thought Barry was being excessively harsh with her.  Shawn is not in the same league as Barry – far from it.

So I responded to IamMine’s vlog agreeing with her that the emotional games needed to stop, and that both drmzz and Barry needed to back off from Shawn and others like her. As expected, Barry was not pleased with my comment, and that is how our dispute arose. Eventually I emailed him, explaining in no uncertain terms what my position was:

Barry,

I’m going to be blunt here, and it’s probably going to make us enemies as a result, but I really don’t care at this point.

I am not going to apologize for what I said. While Shawn’s meltdown was prompted from the situation on DeafRead and Mike, Mel was pointing out the fact that people are playing emotional games with her and other vulnerable individuals, which needs to stop. Mel used you as an example, which I agree with… when you and Shawn had that confrontation, and mind you, I am not saying what Shawn did was right.. she was wrong to do what she did and said to you but the fact remains is that you were excessively rough on her and you were relentless, showing her no mercy until she caved in to you.

That woman has gone through unimaginable things during her childhood, and she is deeply scarred and vulnerable as a result. It is so easy to push her around, manipulate her, and make her give into whatever people want from her. So while you two may have worked out your differences now… Knowing Shawn, and with my three year formal training in psychology along with just over a decade informally, I know that it’s pretty damn easy to make that happen with her.

Shawn needs to be handled tactfully, and sometimes with kid gloves. You should’ve known better, Barry.

JJ/Deaf Pundit

He responded to me at quite some length, which I’m not going to post here. I responded back to him that no, he did not need to say any more, and that he was not going to change his position and nor would I.

You would think it would end there, but it did not. He emailed me again which said:

JJ,

For your information… I was not trying to change your position. It was not a goal of mine so there is no disappointment on my behalf.

Barry

My response to him was simply, “Thanks for letting me know.” Hint: That’s a sarcastic response.

You would think that would be a clue that I was not interested in pursuing the discussion any further. But when I responded to Shawn’s vlog about AG Bell and Jean Boutcher - which wasn’t really directly related to the dispute between me and Barry… He asked me why I hadn’t apologized to him yet, because now it was supposedly clear that I now understood that it was just a misunderstanding about what led Shawn to meltdown, and basically wanted a public clarification from me.

I responded to him that there was no misunderstandings, and our emails had stated our positions quite clearly and we should leave it at that.

He emailed me again, stating that he had left me a video response to mine, at which point I left both a video response to him there telling him to leave me the fuck alone, along with an email response which said:

Barry,

I already stated my position, and just because I did not rebut you, does not mean that I accept your position that this was a misunderstanding.

There is absolutely no misunderstanding. Period.

Do not contact me again. I am NOT interested in continuing this discussion with you. Period.

Jeannette

You would think he would respect my wishes to not contact me again… but no.. he contacted me again.

He told me on DVTV to leave him alone as well, yet, he emailed me back after my response to him to not contact him. It is clear that Barry is continuing this argument, through the emails and arguments on DVTV under Shawn’s vlog.

Furthermore, he is also continuing to ignore what I had stated in my first email, which is causing deliberate confusion on what the issue is really all about. I personally think my email to him explains my position extremely well. It is not about Barry causing Shawn’s meltdown. It is about him playing emotional games and showing absolutely no mercy to these who dare to disagree with him publicly, to the point of harassment!

And now, I am being harassed by Barry Sewell. I don’t care how polite someone is in their email to me, and Barry was polite to me in his last email…. but when I tell you not to contact me ever again… it means just that.

I am making this public, because people need to know about this. The twisting and harassment needs to stop. IMMEDIATELY.

P.S. I’ve taken the step of informing Tayler Mayer about this situation.

This v/blog is a response to comment #27 by Don on Deaf Chipmunk’s vlog … I am unable to respond over there, because I offended people’s sensibilities by my sarcasm and have been banned from that site.

Truly? I’m making much ado over nothing? The word Deaf has such value that people have made films about it. Many v/blogs on DeafRead center around the value and meaning of the word, Deaf. Furthermore, the value and meaning of what Deaf is central to Deafhood, which Don is a strong supporter of. It is pretty much the only thing that they discuss.

It is no accident that Don omitted the word, Deaf from my name. He is not the only one who has done that. Matt on DVTV also called me Pundit: http://www.deafvideo.tv/video/watch/27756/#comment-133590

Then after my confrontation with him, and I showed him how I was culturally Deaf, and his comments were uncalled for, see his response here: http://www.deafvideo.tv/video/watch/27756/#comment-133780

He then called me Deaf Pundit in his response to me. I personally find that very interesting.

I was trying to prove a point on Deafchip’s vlog with my sarcasm, which was to show exactly what Deafchip and his friends’ thought processes were really like, and how ineffective that was for marketing and advocacy. Deafchip clearly did not catch my sarcasm in the second comment, because he thanked me for my quick response, and discussed about how we needed to re-define what Deaf meant.

If he truly disagreed with my comment but was being courteous by publishing my comments, he would not have thanked me and pretty much leave it at that. He would’ve pointed it out immediately and discussed points that he disagreed with me about.

Why didn’t Deafchip just say, “No. We are not scared of the doctors, and they do not hold all of the power. We do have power and there’s no reason to be scared of them. We just need to educate the doctors on the other meanings of what Deaf is about.”  ?

Much ado about nothing?

You decide.